"No one has really even mentioned what i should look for"
EGOL and some others have recommended some actions that you could take. Develop a content marketing strategy. There's a whole lot of posts about this subject in SEOMoz. Here's one to start with: http://www.seomoz.org/blog/99-ways-to-build-links-by-giving-stuff-away-and-improve-your-brand-too-14029
"All of these people cant be all getting scammed or else they would not have any good reviews."
There's a lot of fake reviews on freelance.com, elance.com and the likes.
"The basic answer is just email people for links, well i am sure you know its more than that."
How about emailing people OFFERING help and build relationship with them?
"Some day i will find someone who is willing to share some kind of secret."
There are 2 rules to success:
1. Never tell all your secrets
