In glancing quickly at your first site, I see that Google isn't indexing it nor are any inbound links found. You need to have legitimate links pointing to the domain, not spammy links, to give it some creditability. If you get too many links too fast, this can also hurt you.
In regards to "How did they connect my sites together..?", Google has its own domain registrar which can see who owns what sites.
Hope this helps.