Suggestions to Improve Worst Conversion Form Ever Designed?

[Kingalan1]

My commercial real estate web site has about the worst conversion form ever designed (http://www.nyc-officespace-leader.com/visitor-details). The form appears whenever a visitor does a property search. If they do not release their phone number and email address they don't get results. The form only gets completed 25% of the time and often the contact details are wrong. The visitors either exit the site at that page or go to the listing or neighborhood pages to view listings without doing a filtered search.

In an attempt to increase conversions we are softening the form and not making completion mandatory. After entering an inquiry the visitor will be shown three property listings before the form pops up, The idea being that once they have seen product they will be more inclined to release contact info. Also, the form will appear once they have viewed three listings anywhere on the site, not just for search results.  Unlike the existing conversion form (http://www.nyc-officespace-leader.com/visitor-details) we are trying to keep the text very concise. The new form will be Java script rather than a URL.

Can anyone  offer some ideas on how to make the text of these new forms more enticing? The forms are listed below. We will probably show the first one after the visitor views 3 listings and the variation of it after the visitor views another 3 listings.

** FORM #1**

Quit wasting time searching for listings. (watch icon)

Call me to discuss available space.                       Yes            No

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  FORM #2

Don’t search for listings, we will do it for you. We have off market listings that no one knows about.

Contact us now about off market listings.                   Yes            No

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks, Alan

[The-frank-Agency]

I think those look good and you should give them a shot. You can always do some fine-tuning to them over then next month or two.

Happy to help and good luck! I look forward to see how this helps your conversion rate.

[Kingalan1]

Hi Frank:

Thanks so much for your help!!! There is nothing tougher than writing copy that converts.

Based on your suggestions I have adjusted both forms, trying to keep them as brief as possible. Do you think this is an improvement?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- FORM #1

Don’t waste your time searching listings. (watch icon)

Receive a hand curated list of properties prepared by one of our experts.

Yes            No

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FORM #2

Did you know we can provide you with access to off-market listings?

Learn about these exceptional, hidden gems before they are gone!

Tell me now about off market listings.                   Yes            No

[The-frank-Agency]

Form #1: I would adapt the copy so that it sounds like you are providing more value to the user.

Ex: We can help save you time! Call me direct to start your search and discuss available listings.

Form #2: Similar to the first and you are half-way there. Sell the part about your access to off-market listing first. Users always want to think they are getting a really good deal, or getting access to premium content that their friends or competition aren't. You also want to try and add some immediacy to the form, make the user feel like they must act now or they may miss out on a great deal.

Ex: Did you know we access to off-market listings that only we know about? Contact us to learn more about these listings before they are gone!

You may need to play with the copy some to better fit your clientele, but you should be able to get a good idea from the examples given.

Good luck!