In my experience with sending out link request emails, they always want to know how it benefits them. Whether you are offering content, infographics, guest blog post, broken link corrections, reciprocal link, endorsing them on a social media or providing a testimonial for their business, I have seen the best results by telling them how it will benefit their website.
Create a compelling title that mentions the benefit so you have a higher open rate. Getting them to open is half the battle.
Also, try including your website url in the body of the message so it easy for them to click through and review your site:
"Our pagerank 4 website - http://www.example.com - which carries (Here I said what we carry) You have similar sites located in the "Other" Section on your link page."
Make sure your request is short, clear and direct. Possibly rewording your opening sentence to:
"Would you consider adding our site on the "Links" section list?"